Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
