Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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