Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Nicole vs. Life
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
