i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize