Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
