as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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