i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
