do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
