take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
