My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My penis needs a shock collar
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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