how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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