wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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