But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
