Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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