you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
