I love black thongs
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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