The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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