I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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