You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
His hands were made for my vagina.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
