i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
