You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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