im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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