I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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