just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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