Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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