after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
