when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
