i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Randomize
