My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
