I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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