somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
