I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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