Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
