I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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