Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
