angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
