Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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