bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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