Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Don't tell me you're on acid again
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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