Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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