He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
