I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
