feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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