ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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