We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
