piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There r osticjed everywhere
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
