On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
