His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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