So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
