please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
