My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
ok first of all what the fuck
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