I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Randomize
