please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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