May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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