dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
