Where did you get a picture of my penis
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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