I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
