In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
