He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
