I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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