he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
vagina is talking i cant
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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