why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
