I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
