I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
